deviantgene

Things no one tells you about being a father

There are many things they say about fatherhood.

But there are many things they don’t.

They don’t tell you why leaving home for work seems so much difficult.

That some days you will crib, some days you will feel irritated, you will remember a time before. When you were free, to go out with the guys, to watch a movie, free to do what you wanted,

But then she will squeal or erupt into peals of laughter over some face you have pulled, some silly animal voice you have made.

And you will forget all the irritation.

That some days, the world will seem a particular shade of grey, but her laughter, her squeals of delight will suddenly bring colour to the world around her.

That the first time she lets go of your hand as she starts walking on her own,

Will also be the first time a dread sets in your heart. Like someone had put a hook in your heart, and is now pulling it, slowly.

This is the beginning of her independence.

But you also know that you need to set her free.

Because keeping her with you, holding on, however much you might want to

Would not be the best thing for her.

That there will come a time, when all the  ‘names’ or ‘incidents’

Will suddenly feel very real, very personal.

And you will be scared.

Of the time when she will go out alone, into the world.

But the only way you can hope to protect her forever

If by giving her the weapons to protect herself.

That even the loneliest of moments, gets a little lighter

When you remember her smiling at you, unformed teeth and all.

But most of all, what no one tells you is

That you will always want to be the best version of yourself

Because that is what she deserves.

That,

And nothing less.