deviantgene

🕯️ The Seventh Apocalypse — Official Invitation

It is with great pleasure
that Lucifer and Beelzebub invite you
to the Seventh Apocalypse.

This time, we come not with wrath
but with congratulations.
Because it is through you, humanity,
that this apocalypse has been achieved.

We especially appreciate
that you made children afraid of missiles.
What you did in Syria was nothing short of beautiful.
The pogrom against the Rohingyas,
the war in Ukraine, the Gaza Strip,
Honestly, for a moment,
Lucifer and I considered shutting down Hell.
Because it seems you’ve built a better one
right here on Earth.

You liked that video of Gaza.
You scrolled past the melting glaciers.
You bought fast fashion.
You gave your autonomy to bricks
that told you who to be
in 15-second bursts.

You slit pregnant women’s bellies
in the name of the god they worshipped.
(There is only one, by the way.)

This is the slowest apocalypse yet.

What you’ve done
to the rivers and seas
is truly miraculous.
Not the good kind—like Jesus’ birth (ugh, divine conception),
but miraculous as in:

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

We especially enjoyed
the slow death by single-use plastics.
Cancer in a bottle.
Nicely done.

And that’s not the only element you’ve ruined.

The air,
oh, the pollution in the air,
was chef’s kiss.
You even managed to melt Siberia,
and unleash new viruses.

The last time we were this happy
was when Vishnu convinced that dumbass Arjun
to kill his own relatives.

So,
we personally welcome you
to the End.

The apocalypse will not be televised.
It will be live streamed on Instagram.

Await the public unveiling
on the 8th of July